


drowning in the ocean that is you.

by eclipseomi



Category: ENHYPEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Sunki, tw // metaphoric drowning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:46:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27174025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eclipseomi/pseuds/eclipseomi
Summary: thats just how things are when it comes to sunoo. he isnt sure how long he can keep going, hes stuck in the middle of nowhere.
Relationships: Kim Sunoo/Nishimura Riki | Ni-ki
Comments: 4
Kudos: 42





	drowning in the ocean that is you.

**Author's Note:**

> tw // metaphoric drowning !!
> 
> happy sunki day! wrote this because i love them :D
> 
> big thank u to my zie for proofreading! if u see this i love u <3

falling for sunoo was different.

when niki thought about all the other people he had fallen for in his life, he would describe them as floating on the clouds. the sky would always be a little pretty mix of different pinks, and the atmosphere was overall very calm.

falling for those people was a nice experience. niki was much younger then, and he wouldnt exactly use the exact term of "falling in love" when he thinks about it now, yet, niki knows that his idea of love was different back then. back then, that was what love was to him. 

falling for those people felt like running around in a field full of different colored flowers. the warmth of the sun upon him, the only thing to be worried about being how fast his heart would beat every time he was near them. 

it was like sitting under a sky full of stars. looking up and being told a story by the moon. he would close his eyes and listen, scared that if he opened his eyes and got distracted, he might just miss the important lesson of each story.

falling for them was a blast, he will never regret falling for them.

so, how was falling for sunoo different? niki spent nights thinking about it, the perfect visual came to him at two am one night. he closed his book full of his unfinished homework and sat down on his bed.

he doesnt regret it, no, he wont ever. how could he? sunoo is perfect, his soft black hair niki would do anything just to run his hand through once, his fox eyes niki loves to stare into, his adorable personality niki will never get tired of, his laugh niki loves to hear, smile niki loves to see, kindness niki absolutely adores, heart he so badly wants but cannot get.

falling for sunoo wasnt something that happened straight away. it grew with each layer he had managed to peel off of the older, niki knew the sunoo he saw in the day was not the sunoo on the inside, not the sunoo who was all alone at night. niki wanted to know who sunoo was when no one else was there.

he wanted to know who sunoo was when there wasnt anyone to hide from.

it started off as the two meeting through a mutual friend. niki will admit, he found sunoo a bit annoying when they first met. he just thought, _there is no way someone can be this cheerful at eight am in the morning. there is just no way._

they met again, sometimes with the others, sometimes coincidentally when it was just the two of them. niki enjoyed those times, sunoo was slowly becoming someone niki enjoyed being around. his happiness infected niki, niki found himself smiling and laughing along with the older so early in the morning. 

[befriending sunoo was like the first step on the sand on a beach.]

and niki grew comfortable around the older, and it seemed the older felt the same around the younger. niki felt happy whenever he showed up to group hangouts, hearing the words "oh, niki's here! sunoo, you can stop whining now." made him feel good. it was good to know it wasnt just niki enjoying their friendship.

niki sort of knew from the start that the happy smile on sunoo's face wasnt always completely genuine, everyone has bad days. it sucks, but thats how it is. niki was shocked to find the boy crying at the table in the corner of the library one afternoon, niki immediately sat down and talked to the older.

they ended up having a long, deep coversation with each other that day. it was an experience niki wont ever forget, as it was their first of many. it was a reminder for him that, sunoo too, is a human just like him. no matter how perfect sunoo is in niki's eyes, no matter how unreal the boy seems-

he is the same as niki.

[it was like walking closer to the shore, leaving footprints in the sand behind him.]

niki wasnt sure when he fell for the older. niki doesnt know when he started getting excited to see the older, when he felt his cheeks heat up when the older would pull him into a hug and ask him about his day, when he would rush out to meet the older at late hours of the night just because texting or calling wasnt enough for the two.

and for a while, niki couldve sworn it was mutual. looking into sunoo's eyes, it felt like some sort of agreement. like a soft, "its okay to fall, ill be there to catch you."

but, when youre in the ocean, where are you supposed to fall? for a second, present niki almost scratches the ocean vision in his head, the sound of waves slowly disappearing from his ears. how he was even hearing them when it was nearing three am and he was in his room, niki has no idea.

but then, niki realizes, it was more like getting onto his back and floating. eyes closed, trusting the older to guide him. it felt steady, the calmness almost equalling the times where niki felt like he was floating on the clouds, sitting down in a flower field, but they were still different. niki wasnt afraid before, there were no sounds that terrified him.

something about the ocean waves simply worried niki.

[for a period of time, niki felt calm. niki floated in the ocean.]

but then, out of nowhere, wind. strong wind, downpour, the ocean seemed angry. niki opens his eyes while floating, the first time he realizes that something here isnt right. he stops floating on his back, he turns around, ready to swim back to safety, only to find himself in the middle of nowhere.

everywhere he turns, all he can see his the wide, deep, blue ocean. 

sunoo stops showing up to group hangouts, telling them hes busy. one text to a new groupchat from heeseung hyung makes niki raise an eyebrow. he replies, "who is sunghoon?"

for the first time, niki feels afraid. niki wants the ocean to calm down, niki wants the rain to stop, he wants to go back to floating uninterrupted. thats all he asks. the universe shouldnt have that much of a hard time fulfilling his wish, right? 

he prays for the ocean to calm, but he doesnt get that. niki usually doesnt get what he wants, he accepted that a long time ago,

niki reaches out to sunoo, asking if he wanted to meet up anywhere and talk about anything random, just like how they usually do. niki missed sunoo, he missed sunoo a lot. it felt like ages since he last saw the older, and niki hated that. niki wasnt sure what he was wanting the older to reply, but sunoo not even reading the text was definitely not expected.

niki went to sleep that night, cheeks wet. niki was scared, scared to swim back to the shore.

a large wave.

[niki felt like he was drowning, watching the surface of the water get farther and farther away.]

niki shouldve been happy to see sunoo again. he shows up the the group's lunch together outside, his usual bright smile on his face. though, after a small study, niki notices the small eye bags under his eyes. after spending those nights with sunoo at the most random locations (convenience stores, cafes, outside heeseung hyung's house) talking, niki knows the smile on sunoo's face is genuine.

hes holding hands with someone taller, someone who looks older than both him and sunoo. he waves at the group when sunoo introduces him. niki wishes he never heard the words that left sunoo's mouth. he looks up from his sandwich as he hears sunghoon, sunoo's new _boyfriend_ , laugh.

a notification from his phone.

 **jungwon** : niki, are you okay? :(

he looks up to find jungwon staring at him with a worried looking, with knowing eyes, jungwon glances at the new couple before looking back at niki. niki sends jungwon a smile, a smile that felt so painful.

 **you** : not at all

[niki has drowned. yet, he is still alive. sadly.]

falling for sunoo was different.

when niki thought about all the other people he had fallen for in his life, he would describe them as floating on the clouds. the sky would always be a little pretty mix of different pinks, and the atmosphere was overall very calm.

falling for those people felt like running around in a field full of different colored flowers. the warmth of the sun upon him, the only thing to be worried about being how fast his heart would beat every time he was near them.

it was like sitting under a sky full of stars. looking up and being told a story by the moon. he would close his eyes and listen, scared that if he opened his eyes and got distracted, he might just miss the important lesson of each story.

falling for sunoo, it felt like drowning.

there wasnt even a warning beforehand, niki wasnt even aware it was dangerous until it was too late. what started off so calm, as something that warmed niki's heart, had turned into something that niki could no longer escape, no matter how hard he tried. it is so hard, so hard to breathe. he cant. he cant swim up to the top, cant swim back to the shore, hes stuck.

stuck in this ocean, this ocean that wont let him escape. he hears the thunder, sees light in the sky every now and then. the surface is so far.

niki cant leave, no matter how badly he wants to. he clings onto that tiny ray of hope, that maybe, just maybe, sunoo will come and save him one day. in this deep, dark ocean, with a storm so strong up above, the shore so far away. 

thats just how things are when it comes to sunoo. he cant stop loving him. he isnt sure how long he can keep going, hes stuck in the middle of nowhere.

**Author's Note:**

> thats the end, whatever actually happens to them both is up to you tho :)


End file.
